What I learned in my teens

This month is my 20th birthday! This is so bittersweet letting go of my teens and embracing this new chapter of my life! As much as I loved my teens, there were many heartaches and lessons that were learned in these years. My teen years held my lowest (and I mean LOW) points and some of my most transformative moments that I appreciate equally.

In this blog post, I made a list of 5 things that I wish I could go back and tell my teenager self. The advice that I am giving is a reflection of my high school experience, demographic, and lifestyle. What I learned may not be a reflection of every girl's life, but I hope it can be aligned in some way to many of you!

Something that took me most of my teen years to learn is that no one is looking at you the way you are looking at you. No one is scrutinizing you the way you are. We are our own biggest critique. The majority of the time, no one is noticing the flaws that you are being so harsh on yourself for.

Your mental health is valid. Your emotions are valid. No one should make you feel like you are just being a "teenage girl" or dramatic. Getting help for depression and anxiety is a sign of strength, not weakness. And lastly, it gets better. I remember at 16 wondering what was "wrong" with me and if I would ever feel better. Now, turning 2o, I can say YES IT DOES!! It gets so much better.

High school is too short to be friends with people that are not kind! Anyone that puts others down for popularity or gossip, is not a friend! You will save yourself so much drama and trouble by being friends with people that have a good heart!

I had to put at least one piece of advice about boys. Our worth is in who we are not what high school boys think of us. If one isn't treating you right, do not stay with him. In high school it felt like that was my entire world and there were no other people outside of it. Trust me on this one, many high school boys will just cause you heartache and like the old saying, there are plenty of fish in the sea! You are beautiful and deserve nothing but the best for yourself.

Okay, I saved the best for last. Nothing came together until I realized this one golden rule. It took the entirety of my teen years to learn this and once I truly understood this, I became the best version of myself. This was life changing for myself who lacked confidence and had no direction of where I was going.

What I learned was that in order to be happy, and I mean truly happy, I have to be one thousand percent happy with myself. I have to be so rock solid with who I am that I know I'm going to be good with or without any person in my life. I can not rely on any one person for happiness, confirmation, or confidence when it is my own self that I rely on. It's really just me and Jesus over here for my personal validation. I repeat to myself often, "I know I'm good with or without them" as a reminder of this golden rule, and it is life changing.

Thank you for reading what I learned in my teen years! I think these lessons can be applied to any time of life for any girl that is reading! I hope you have been encouraged, ignited, and motivated to reflect on your growth.

- Dani